APRIL FOOL!!

april-fools-day

Ottawans at play on April Fool’s Day:

They tell us a good one on Al, a south-side-of-the-square druggist, who got up a brilliant April fool speculation. He took his best business coat, and vest, and hat, down to the bank of the river on April 1st. He enclosed a note in one of the vest pockets, which read pensively to the effect that “whiskey has caused this fatal act,” and invoking the blessings of Heaven on the praying women. Giving directions on how to dispose of his body when dragged from the river bed, he then retired behind a bunch of willows and watched for a victim — someone to come along and find the clothes and give an alarm. He saw in the distance the jury, and anxious citizens, much excitement, drag robe, &c. But no one came. He waited all forenoon and rubbed his hands and kicked the ground with his feet to keep them warm, but still no one came. Then he went up town and threw out vague hints about “some one being found drowned — clothes on the willows at the river bank,” &c., but still the old thing didn’t work! At dusk he lonesomely repaired to the river and brought away his “duds” and meandered home through the back alleys. If you want to worry him just allude to his cute April fool speculation.1

If a proper observance of Fourth of July is going out of style and Christmas, New Year and Saint Valentine days are not as popular as they once were with Ottawa people, April Fool’s Day is, as the other days lessen in public esteem, receiving more attention. On Thursday all the practical jokers were on the lookout for victims. Lon Piergue furnished nicely frosted cotton cakes, and stood back and laughed while George Taylor, Gib Strawn and editor Zwanzig vied with one another in their attempts to masticate them. At the Clifton Hotel half the boarders swallowed salt in their coffee and made wry faces over bran pancakes. At the suggestion of Pat Carey, Judge Weeks spent fully five minutes at the telephone trying to talk to an imaginary somebody at the other end of the line. The day in short, was very much of an “All Fool’s Day.”2


  1. The Ottawa Free Trader, April 4, 1874, p. 4, col. 6
  2. The Ottawa Free Trader, April 3, 1886, p. 1, col. 4

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